All of us are going to die someday; some much earlier than others, but the end result is the same for us all. We are all aware of this at some level, but most of us don’t like to talk about it. And far too few of us give any thought to the impact on those we will leave behind when we do pass away. The families of those who die young, especially if their death is sudden and unexpected, are most often the least prepared for the consequences. So, it behooves us to make preparations to alleviate some of the concerns our family will face when we are gone. It is good to do this while you are still in full use of your faculties and can calmly take the necessary steps. Of course, as you age, it becomes more urgent to ensure that your family is prepared to carry on without you, as your remaining time on earth grows shorter. So, the earlier the better, rather than waiting until it becomes urgent. As an 82-year-old widower, I can tell you of the things I have done over the years to prepare my family for my inevitable death.

First of all, after my wife and I were married, we had a lawyer prepare wills for us so the surviving spouse after one of us died could avoid a lengthy probate. We updated our wills after our daughter was born, and again later when she married. I had my will updated once more after my wife passed away to make my daughter and her family my primary beneficiaries. We also had a lawyer prepare durable powers of attorney for health care, general powers of attorney, and directives to physicians for each of us, with each other designated as agents to exercise them. I also had mine updated with my daughter designated as my agent after my wife’s death. My daughter has the originals of all these.
From the beginning of our marriage my wife and I both had full knowledge of our finances, with joint banking accounts and credit cards. That way we could both keep track of our bills to make sure they were paid on time. And we always paid our credit card bill in full each month to avoid interest and mounting debt.
Later we both had professional careers and separate retirement accounts, with each other as the primary beneficiary. When my wife passed away, as her beneficiary, I was able to roll over her retirement account into mine and updated my account to make my daughter’s family the primary beneficiary. At that time, I also amended my bank accounts (checking and money market) to add my daughter as co-owner, so she would have full access to them with nothing more required after my death.
My wife and I did not have a burial policy or a burial plot at a cemetery. Since we did a lot of international travel, we had policies with the Neptune Society to provide cremation services. In the event either of died anywhere in the world they would come to pick up the body, cremate it and ship the ashes to your home or to someone, such as a family member. In the event you pass away overseas this eliminates the need to purchase a coffin and arrange to have it shipped back to the U.S.A. They also provide two nice cherrywood boxes to store the ashes if you do not want to purchase an urn. My wife passed away at a hospice facility in Dallas, so a Neptune representative arrived within hours of a phone call notifying them of her death. They took her body and had her ashes delivered to me a few days later. When I pass away eventually my daughter will only need to call an 800 number to have my remains taken care of. She can then do whatever she wants with my wife’s and my ashes.

Shortly before my wife died, we sold our 4-bedroom 2,600 sq. ft. home and moved into a 1,200 sq. ft. 2-bedroom apartment in an active senior living facility near our daughter’s home. Before we moved, we gave our daughter the baby grand piano she learned to play on and a dining room set (table and chairs) to replace their old one. Those were all of our possessions that she wanted. We hired a firm to put on an estate sale and then donated what didn’t sell to charity. We kept two sets of bedroom furniture, a soda, recliner and a television stand to move to our new apartment, an purchased a small dining table and chairs and a coffee table to fit in the apartment. So, our daughter will not have a house to sell and only a small amount of furniture to deal with after my passing. We also cleaned out our garage and attic, shredding 10 or 12 boxes of unnecessary papers, including cancelled checks dating from the 1970’s, and put everything else, including a drill press, grinder and automotive tools in the estate sale.

After my wife died, I gave my daughter a list of information, including my bank and retirement accounts, health care documents (Medicare Parts A & B, Mediate supplement policy and Prescription Drug plan), Neptune Society cremation plan, Social Security and credit cards. I also gave her a list of the usernames and passwords for all of my online accounts and services, and of all of those with automatic payment withdrawals from my checking account. This will allow her to notify the Social Security service of my death, to cancel my credit cards, and to cancel my online accounts and services, as well as notifying my retirement accounts of my death and claiming them as my beneficiary.

My car title and other documents, as well as USB drives with backup files for my computers I keep in a fire safe box in my computer room.
I have given my daughter all of the family photo albums except of a couple I have in my apartment, as well as my maternal grandmother’s diary.
I trust that all of this will alleviate the burden on my daughter as she closes out all of my affairs after I am gone.

I have several friends whose parents did few if any of these things, leaving them with a major job to close out their affairs after their last parent died.