I am beginning to learn that life goes on following the loss of a spouse. It will never be the same as it was, of course.  But being different does not necessarily mean worse. And I am finding new avenues to share the life lessons Mary and I learned during our 54-plus years together. Each new experience, including becoming a widower, provides another addition to the lode of experiential knowledge I have accumulated during my life, and opens up the way to another group (in this case, widowers) with whom I can share a common experience. Realizing this, I have come to welcome each new experience I encounter (whether good or  bad on the surface) as yet another opportunity to identify with others on a level that cannot be reached by anyone who has not had that same of similar experience. And so I am learning to thank God always for all things.

And then, upon further reflection, as I look back on my life with Mary I realize that without her companionship, support and, yes, her critique and challenges to me, I would never have had the success in life I have enjoyed. And I believe the reverse is also true for her. As the scripture says;

“As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.” (Proverbs 27:17 NIV)

Although I didn’t always appreciate it at the time, I gradually came to realize the value in seeing things from a different (in this case feminine) perspective. All of the major decisions we made were joint decisions, arrived at after much discussion and prayer. And, in the final analysis, they proved to be good decisions, although some of them turned out much different than we had anticipated. Marriage, we discovered, is meant to be a venture shared by two equal partners.

After Mary passed away I wondered how I would be able to fill my time now that I no longer had an ever-expanding “honey do” list. But I am finding that my calendar continues to fill up with new, and often unexpected, opportunities each week. The challenge for me is to identify the best choice among the many good things I could do. I find this is driving me to spend more time in prayer, seeking God’s guidance each and every day. Not necessarily being on my knees for prolonged periods, but cultivating a more constant awareness of God’s presence with me and listening more intently to what he is whispering to me all day long. And the results have been very rewarding. I am experiencing a renewed zest for life and all that it brings with it, and looking forward hopefully and expectantly to even better things in the future.

Hallelujah! What a great time to be alive!