Let’s face it; the grief that I continue to experience due to my wife’s passing is essentially self-pity over my being left behind. The more I reflect on the last few days of Mary’s mortal life the more I realize she was more than ready to move on to her home in glory. She had struggled with illness and injuries for most of her life, beginning in her teenage years and continuing on a regular basis for all of the years we were together. In addition she had fought  prejudice against her as a professional woman with a family from both religious and secular quarters. She felt there were few people who truly understood her strong desires for both career and motherhood.

In spite of this, she lived a long, full and richly rewarding life, filled with many singular achievements. In the end I believe she felt she had accomplished her purpose here on earth and had completed the work God had prepared for her. She had retired from her academic career in 2007, been increasingly involved in activities at our church and had just a few items remaining on her “bucket list’. These included seeing our Spiritual Entrepreneurship book published at long last in September of last year, followed that same month by our moving from our home of 33 years to an active senior living facility in close proximity to our daughter’s family. Then we closed on the sale of our home on November 21 of last year. She passed away exactly one month later on December 21. Job accomplished, work completed.

That she was ready to go home was evidenced by her statement to the doctors five days after her admission to the hospital yet once again that she “was ready to meet her Maker”.  That same day the doctors concluded they had done all they could for her and recommended we consider hospice care. Then I realized she was not only ready, but eager, to move on when she woke up on her last day in the hospital. looked at me and asked, “Why am I still here?” And finally, on the day after we moved her to the hospice facility she passed away very quietly and peacefully. She was there one minute and the next minute she was gone. What a way to go!

So when I reflect on her passing I thank God not only for a life well lived, but also for the ease of her transition to her eternal home. And I thank him for the privilege I had of knowing her and sharing in her journey of life for so many years.

And I am also beginning to realize the blessings God has in store for me now. I am able to participate more freely in the lives of our daughter and her family. I am living in close proximity to their home (it is only a 10 minute drive from my apartment), and I can attend more of our grandsons’ athletic events (which had become quite difficult for us as Mary’s health declined). She was remorseful about our inability to participate more fully in their lives, but now I feel her presence with me as I see them and feel that in some way I am helping to fulfill her heartfelt desire to be with them.

These new lessons learned are bringing great comfort to me and giving me a renewed sense of optimism about the future. I eagerly await even more lessons to be learned.